It would be even more secure than gold, guys!
Context: The Washington Post has made the inane suggestion that Apple and Google could use their “all their wizardry” (no, seriously, that’s a quote) to create “secure golden key” that would, you know, take all your data and make it insecure. But it would only be used for really good reasons, guys.
On the bright side, it did lead to this quote from Chris Coyne of keybase:
With the Washington Post’s proposal, [your personal data] will all be leaked, a kind of secure golden shower.
Which pretty much perfectly sums up my feelings on the subject.
The idea that encryption is going to be used by the bad people of the world to create unspecified problems has been for more than 20 years now, back to the point where strong encryption was supposed to be illegal, or illegal outside the US, or whatever. You’ll note that two decades into our post-apocalyptic, fallen world of widely available encryption, you’re still being hurt much, much worse by all the criminals breaking your encryption and getting your credit cards, identity, and/or nude photos, than by all those criminals encrypting their data. The threat of encryption has failed to materialize. But that won’t ever stop people from insisting that you don’t have a right to keep your basic personal and financial information secure.